From My Diary. Fall 2017.

Hi there. This is Dylan. Long time no see. And a lot has happened since then. Not all good.

In July dad went to heaven. One day he was here, the next day he was gone. All his things and clothes remained just where he’d left them. His smell was still here. He left without taking anything with him. And he didn’t tell me he was going. Like mom, I’ve been very sad about that. I remember the love he gave me. The back and tummy rubs. And the silly routines we had perfected together. I’m trying to teach mom, but she’s a slow learner. It will take time for her to grasp everything. Dad was a natural.Β I miss him.

Dylan sadI have a bout of separation anxiety every time mom leaves home without me. I know exactly when she’s planning to leave. And even the thought makes me fearful. Already before she grabs her purse I’m busy hoping she’ll come back. And not go to heaven like dad. To help my anxiety, mom bought me a Thunderskirt. I have to admit that while I don’t like clothes in general, that one makes me feel a bit safer. And it’s warm too. Just right for days like today when it’s windy and almost freezing. Only 55F/13C.

Dylan in Thunderskirt_edited-1And then a hurricane hit our area in early September, the first in almost 100 years. I was not born at the time of the last hurricane, but mom might remember it. Anyway, we took an impromptu trip to Philly. Just hopped on an airplane and left. That was quite an adventure.

philly studio ud137_edited-2It was my first time to fly. The security check was easy, I had a tick mark on my ticket so I just ran through the metal detector before mom. Then I checked out the Admirals Club, but there were no dog treats. Mom gave me a small piece of cheese. Then I flew like a pro. To tell you the truth you don’t actually need to fly. The big metal crate has large wings and it does all the work. You just sit back and enjoy the ride.

Dylan flying_edited-3The hardest thing on this trip was to go to the restaurants with our friends. I had to lie low and be quiet in the booth next to mom. I smelled chicken, bacon, cheese, you name it, but had to keep my head down. No sniffing. It was hard. But somehow I rose to the occasion. Nobody even knew I was there. Right, Gladys?

I have to tell you that I’ve never seen so many geese in my life. They patrolled the vicinity of our hotel every day. Again, I had to practice self-discipline.

Canada geese in Philly_edited-1All in all, it was a great trip. I realized I like to travel. And I hope mom gets me a frequent flyer card. Oh wait, that might not be such a great idea when I think about it. Smells like a double-edged sword. With more miles mom might travel even more. And there’s no guarantee she’d take me everywhere. Like earlier in the fall and again recently. You know, she’s been away twice in the last three weeks. First time she told me she’s going to look for a new home for us. New home? What does that mean? I love my home, my sitter and all my friends, like Bentley and others, at the dog park. I’m not moving. Full stop.

Bentley_edited-1I have to come up with an emergency plan to get that out of her head. All tips are welcome. I just hope it’s not too late.

After coming back, mom took me for a nice outing. We went to see some birds at Fort de Soto Park. We walked the trails near the beaches and found many different birds, big and small.

two willets FDS_edited-1

snowy egret FDS

GBH at FDS

ruddy turnstone FDSBut the most interesting part of the trip was sniffing around at the old fort. By far. The smells were fascinating. Markings of dogs long gone mixed with faint traces of gun powder around the old canons. I like that stuff.

canon and osprey FDS

canon at FDSThen we found another fort. And the soldiers were still there. Mostly pelicans and cormorants. They were guarding the island. Who knows what might come from the sea.

pelicans FDS

skyway bridge FDSOne pelican even gave me the look. Like questioning my right to be there.

pelican at FDSAt the end of the day I was happy, but exhausted and hungry. My dinner time was dangerously close. But mom said she didn’t want to leave before she found at least one osprey. Right away I pointed out several of them for her. They were pretty far away, but she should have spotted them. Then we finally drove back home. And I got my dinner 30 minutes late.

osprey FDS This past week mom left again. For work, she said. That word always sounds iffy to me. I don’t like anything that smells work. Bad smell right off the bat. I suspect she was doing sightseeing. Who can work four days in a row anyway? Impossible. And my hunch proved right. I caught her looking at pictures that didn’t look like work. Even I recognize the building. I watch the news. MSM. And mom’s not working at the White House, is she? I hope not. But here’s the evidence that she was there. Both day and night. Sometimes she’s so difficult to read.

white house DC

white house at night DC_edited-2

national xmas tree day time DC

national xmas tree at night DCWhatever the whole truth, the main thing is she came back. That she’s here now. Giving me tummy rubs. I just hope this lasts for a while.

Take care now. With love, Dylan

76 thoughts on “From My Diary. Fall 2017.”

  1. I so enjoyed your post, Helen. I so hope your Heart is mending as you learn that life stops for no one. Christmas is coming too fast and for both of us, it is the “first” which may be difficult for the both of us. Thank goodness you have Dylan and I have my cats. Know you have been in my Heart and prayers. Much Love to you! 🌹

    1. Thank you for being here, Amy. My heart is mending slowly. Grief is like a wave, it suddenly hits me when everything seems calm. But I have many more good than sad days now. Dylan is a great companion and a source of joy every day, just like your cats, I’m sure. Thank you for your heartwarming thoughts and prayers…. and beautiful winter pictures πŸ’ Much love to you too, dear Amy.

      1. Helen, you describe grieving extremely well. Yes I do agree with it is like waves and you never know when you are going to be pulled into the undertow. There are actually days I wake up with such dread in my stomach knowing full well that day is not going to be a good one. Oh yes I tried many times to change the channel but I have to be realistic here. I experienced great losses as you have, and I will not deny my true feelings to emerge. Over time it is getting a little bit easier but I still have those days and I know that you know. How my heart goes out to you. I have days I feel so lost it’s not even funny and I seriously cannot even imagine what you must be feeling. Dylan as well must be really taking it hard because I know with my cats how attached they are to my husband. We will get through this Christmas, dear friend. We will. Much Love to you this day, Amy πŸ’•πŸ˜šπŸ’•

    1. Thank you, Tish. We are doing quite well, considering everything this year has brought our way. It’s been one day at the time … and keeping busy has helped.

    1. Thanks for your kind comment, Annika. Luckily Dylan has a wonderful, loving sitter, or reserve mom, when I travel. He stays at her home and has two little doggies to play with. XX

    1. Dylan says ‘thank you, Amy’. He has also become more protective of me here at home…yesterday he growled at the guy who came to check our air conditioner.

  2. I have been thinking about you during the start of the holiday season, Helen, with the grief and transitions you have recently had, the loss of your husband and father. I enjoyed hearing about Dylan’s experience of the tragic times, and his perspective, especially the scents. Hats off to both of you, for having the courage to move forward making new plans and continuing to experience life in all its forms.

    1. Thank you Jet. It’s been a rocky road, but little by little it’s getting smoother. I will be spending Christmas at my sister’s in Stockholm…for the first time in 11 years, and I’m hoping to see some snow. I have been thinking of you as well…hoping things will settle into the (new) normal soon.

  3. Dylan ~

    I’m impressed with your self-restraint:

    “The hardest thing on this trip was to go to the restaurants with our friends. I had to lie low and be quiet in the booth next to mom. I smelled chicken, bacon, cheese, you name it, but had to keep my head down. No sniffing. It was hard. But somehow I rose to the occasion. Nobody even knew I was there. Right, Gladys?” πŸ˜€

    Hope the light and laughter of the holiday season help you and your mom heal from your very tough year. Peace.

    1. Dylan says thank you. I have to say that both I and our friends were impressed too. Dylan understood it was not is place to eat and stayed down for almost two hours while we had lunch…and repeated it a few days later. He got his rewards πŸ™‚

  4. Now Dylan, you know mom always comes back. πŸ˜‰ Of course, I worry too. I’m a lot like you, I wait until she comes back and then breathe a sigh of relief. You showed more restraint at the restaurants than I would! Good on you! Big hugs to you and mom from me and Sam. ❀

    1. Hi Jackie and Sam! I’m sure Sam is better than me in terms of waiting calmly for mom to return. I rearrange mom’s shoes and the rug at the door…and sometimes I scratch the door frame. I regret that immediately…I hope this will get easier. Love, Dylan ❀

  5. It’s so lovely to hear your bright and funny voice Dylan. With Christmas coming, I hope your Mom won’t be traveling so much, and you can enjoy some good walks. Rest assured that all will be well …. you are home and you are loved ❀️

    1. Dylan says thank you Val. He is a happy guy right now and has taken me on ‘extended’ walks every day. We take one day at the time and enjoy the now together πŸ™‚

  6. Pebble, Sweetie and Beau send their love and their respect for your storytelling – they are genuinely impressed, Dylan; I mean, they won’t stop praising you! Truthfully, I’m a little jealous; but, I’m coping!
    And this we all want for you and your mom. We want you to have the best Christmas possible; even with your wonderful memories of years gone by it’s still possible to laugh and cry and have fun. We all know how strong you are and how valiant is your life ethic.
    And remember; there’s always an osprey or two on the horizon.🐾 🐾 🐾
    Oh yes, I almost forgot: ❀
    xoxoxo

    1. Thank you for your beautiful words dear Carolyn. Dylan feels humble with all this praise πŸ™‚ I will travel again…to be with my sister and her family in Sweden for a few days over Christmas…it’s been 11 years since we celebrated the holidays together. We are kiddy like kids in anticipation. Dylan has a loving “reserve mom” and has agreed that I go away for a bit πŸ™‚ Hugs and much love to you ❀

  7. It’s been awhile, good to see you Dylan. Sorry for your loss but I’m glad to hear that you’re coping and I’m sure those belly rubs help. Take good care of mama and you two have a wonderful holiday season. Oh, and tell her that her photos are as always, beautiful. M ~

    1. Thank you dear Maverick…from both of us! We are doing our best to look forward and keep our spirits high…but every now and then a sad day still lands upon us. But it is improving πŸ™‚ Happy Holidays to you! H & D

  8. It is great to hear from you Tiny, even when is through your lovely secretary… Dylan. Great photos too. Take care my friend. πŸ™‚

  9. Dylan, so glad to hear from you and you’re doing okay. Life’s been different lately, I know. Yea, life sometimes gives us hamburger, when we’d rather have a big, juicy steak. But I know one thing, you and your Mom make a great team. You keep on taking good care of her, and I bet those tummy rubs get better and better! πŸ™‚

    1. Dylan says thank you, Donna. Life has been different indeed both for him and me…we are trying our best to adjust…with help of tummy rubs and anything good/joyful we can grasp πŸ™‚

  10. Thank you for sharing your deepest thoughts and your feeling with us dear Dylan.Hope your mum won’t leave you alone again and that the New Year will bring you only joys & happiness πŸ™‚
    PS:Dylan would love to travel with you to Stockholm.Enjoy your holidays with him,dear Helen xxx

    1. Thank you dear Doda. I’d love to bring Dylan to Stockholm and was planning to do so, but found out that he would not be able to be in the cabin with me all the way…and I cannot even fathom him traveling in a crate in the cargo compartment. So he will be with his loving “reserve mom” for about a week. He just doesn’t want to be left alone right now and he will not need to be. He will also have two good buddies to play with. We send you hugs and wishes for wonderful holidays. XXX

      1. Yes,I can very well understand your decision,they do suffer in the prison-like cranes … He’ll compromise with his reserve mum and his good buddies once more and will be anxiously waiting for your return.
        I think we suffer more than them when we leave them behind … Enjoy your holidays in Stockholm πŸ™‚ xxx

  11. Have a Merry Christmas Dylan, and keep on being a kind responsible doggie and taking good care of your mom. And yes, make sure that she doesn’t work at the White House, too many bad smells around there!

    1. I love your comment, Meg. Mom assured me she doesn’t work there…and confessed she was just curious about the big tree πŸ™‚ And I am trying my best to take care of her! D.

  12. A lovely post Tiny, so glad you have Dylan there as company. It will be a difficult Christmas tine for you, but we will pray our Lord’s comfort for you through this time and that family and friends will surround you with love. The new year which will have many adjustments, as you are already finding. Richest blessings dear friend, you are in my thoughts and prayers.

    1. Thank you, my friend, for your warm wishes and prayers. It is a time for adjustment both for me and Dylan…lots of changes, indeed, in the coming year. I will celebrate Christmas with my sister’s family in Sweden and I am looking forward to it. Many blessings to you and your family!

  13. Dylan it’s so lovely to hear from you. It’s a bit scary when things get changed in a flash but I know you and your Mom will take good care of each other. I am glad you have a ‘hug me tight’ jacket. When I feel down or worried Jack comes and snuggles up close to me, and I feel like I am wearing a hug me tight. Lovely blessings to you and your Mom.

    1. Thank you friend. We are trying our best to comfort each other and adjust to the new situation. Five months have gone by, but it feels like yesterday. Wishes for a beautiful Holiday from me and mom to all of you ❀

  14. Thank you for this update, dear Dylan. I’m sorry you won’t be going to Stockholm, but I’m sure you’ll have a great time with your friends. ❀ ❀ ❀

  15. Dear Dylan, thanks so much for the update on Mom and also yourself. It must be really hard for you both with your Dad not there any more. YOur Philly trip sounds like lots of fun and well done for managing to lie low in the restaurants. and also not chasing those geese. πŸ™‚ Mom must be so proud of you. Wishing you and your Mom very happy holidays. xx

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