Now

When I think about a topic worth discussing in my first real blog post ever, too many tiny lessons come to mind at once …and some bigger things too. It feels important to select the right topic even if no one would ever read it. While wondering about the worthiness of sharing this or the other, my little old poodle (who is almost blind) manages to jump into my lap. It’s a pleasant surprise because he has not managed to jump this high for a while now. He is happy to sit with me at the computer and…well, just be. He lives in the moment, doesn’t fret over things that happened in the past or worry about things to come. He plainly relaxes and enjoys the now.

I have often reflected on how easy it is to spend time on “redoing” or “improving” what has been, things that are already facts of life, choices I made or  things that just came along.   I know I can not change the past, it’s gone, but I can learn from it for the future. So I jump to think about the future. And it’s not always about how I’d apply the lessons I’ve learned. More often it’s worrying about things that might happen tomorrow, next week or later, particularly when I get old…I mean really old. I also know that worry never helps, on the contrary, too much of it can actually make me sick. But somehow it seems easy to spend time in the past or in the future while life passes by right now.  But one can only participate in life now, because that’s all we really have.

It is quite puzzling to me that I still catch myself doing those things, having realized the wastefulness of it quite a while ago. And to tell the truth,  the right now for me is fairly pleasant, considering everything. Looking out of my window I see it: the blue ocean is calm today, boats passing by, light winds, sunny. Will this continue or will there be heavy thunder storms later in the evening? High winds, no power? Maybe a tiny lesson there, something to ponder.